Man Accused of Pleasuring Himself During Screening of ‘The Emoji Movie’Man Accused of Pleasuring Himself During Screening of ‘The Emoji Movie’Police in New Jersey are looking for a man who allegedly did something extremely inappropriate during a showing of the new children’s film.Matt SingerMatt Singer
Jewelry Thieves Foiled By an Unforgiving CounterJewelry Thieves Foiled By an Unforgiving CounterThe (glass) case against them is very strong.Drew WeisholtzDrew Weisholtz
Man Named Fellony Charged With — You Guessed It — A FelonyMan Named Fellony Charged With — You Guessed It — A FelonyWell, if the shoe fits...Drew WeisholtzDrew Weisholtz
Insurance Scammer Busted Trying to Fake AccidentInsurance Scammer Busted Trying to Fake AccidentThere's gotta be an easier way to make a buck.Staff WriterStaff Writer
Man Who Committed Sex Acts With Vegetables Going to Jail for LifeMan Who Committed Sex Acts With Vegetables Going to Jail for LifeWe can only imagine what this guy thinks about butternut squash.GuySpeed EditorsGuySpeed Editors
Dingbat Tries to Use Monopoly ‘Get Out of Jail’ Card in Real LifeDingbat Tries to Use Monopoly ‘Get Out of Jail’ Card in Real LifeThere have been changes in Monopoly, but this isn't one of them.Drew WeisholtzDrew Weisholtz
Bumbling Burglar Trips Over His Own Pants During EscapeBumbling Burglar Trips Over His Own Pants During EscapeThis burglar really ought to think about stealing a belt.Staff WriterStaff Writer
Man Who Robbed Bank to Avoid Wife Sentenced to Home ConfinementMan Who Robbed Bank to Avoid Wife Sentenced to Home ConfinementThis punishment definitely fits the crime.Drew WeisholtzDrew Weisholtz
Guy Jailed for Selling Fake Drugs Says He’s ‘Doing God’s Work.’ Alrighty, Then.Guy Jailed for Selling Fake Drugs Says He’s ‘Doing God’s Work.’ Alrighty, Then.This fake drug dealer is working for a "high"-er authority.Drew WeisholtzDrew Weisholtz
Man Upset About Onions in Food Gets Naked, Threatens to Kill Restaurant OwnerMan Upset About Onions in Food Gets Naked, Threatens to Kill Restaurant OwnerThe only thing worse than this guy's breath is his temper.GuySpeed EditorsGuySpeed Editors
Why Is This Man Smiling Like a Fool in His Mug Shot?Why Is This Man Smiling Like a Fool in His Mug Shot?Nothing can wipe the smile off this guy's face.Drew WeisholtzDrew Weisholtz
Dope Tries to Steal ATM With Backhoe, Abysmally FailsDope Tries to Steal ATM With Backhoe, Abysmally FailsNever send a machine to do a man's job.Staff WriterStaff Writer